Albums

Album Review: United Nations

[Album: United Nations]
[Label: Eyeball Records]

So what are members of Glassjaw, Thursday, Converge and The Number 12 Looks Like You among others doing together in a band? Who the hell thinks up these sort of “supergroups”? One thing that is for certain though is that for at least half of the members of those bands, this is probably their strongest material ever. Their music has been self-described as “emo-power-violence”, as the band mentions in their amusing, yet morbid FAQ. Should this work? For the most part it actually does.

I am no fan of any of the band member’s “real” bands. I find Thursday and Glassjaw to be too stuck up their emo/scenester asses to be able to write a bitching song without crying their eyes out over the same tired and overdone cliché dynamics of “saint girlfriend versus evil whore” and “fuck everyone vs nobody likes me”. Converge on the other hand, I never understood how they made a career in the punk rock world, considering how “metal” they really are. The Number 12 Looks Like You, I have not actually sat down to listen to, but if HORSE the Band are making fun and picking fights with them, then there’s got to be something wrong with them, you dig? The concentration of tight jeans involved in this band is potentially unhealthy and most-likely to be included in the next Geneva Convention-type document in the Article on what constitutes a legitimate Act of War. Apparently, due to contractual obligations, the band line-up is shrouded in a bit of mystery; something that only adds to the weird charm of such a potential supergroup. Can you imagine the conversations floppy-haired kids would have in trying to figure out who’s a member?

Yet, somehow, United Nations have their moments of chaotic near-grind brilliance, that doesn’t necessarily sound like played-out 1990s screamo-by-numbers, by switching through styles quick enough and keeping the drum tempo on “fast” all the way through before it all goes stale. The band have many death metal tendencies, that they nicely marry with the prime 1990s screamo before the hair extensions, guy-liner and white belts turned it into another niche in the mall. Songs like ‘Resolution 9′ and ‘Filmed In Front Of A Live Studio Audience’ have both death-metal-heavy and (puts on Arnold Schwarzenegger voice) “girlie-man” Placebo-esque sung, soaring guitar parts that could easily get some serious airtime on the radio. I wouldn’t go so far as to call this “power violence” in any shape or form (too polished a-production and too much melody contained herein), but there is a punishing side to it that makes you want to groove, rather than spin your arms around a lot and attempt drunken spin kicks with maximum hair extension and poseability in mind.

That’s the vibe I get myself, something I feel is confirmed by the interlude parts that add atmospheric vibes that evoke the sense of eerie comfort found in an imminent nuclear annihilation characteristic of 1960s Cold War Hysteria; I can picture a Dr. Strangelove-inspired video clip emerging that, conceptually at least, rules by default. The band have kept the best for last though in the form of ‘Say Goodbye To General Figment Of The USS Imagination’. Things start off with some Refused-inspired guitar-intro that kicks in and gives way to some big and heavy Mastodon-type riffage before it wraps up with a three-minute slow-jam with a haunting saxophone that brings to mind a 1980s Paul Riser curly-mulleted yuppie-type drinking whiskey on the rocks by the window on a rainy night, feeling sorry for himself whilst we get glimpses of his Kim Basinger-type (how do you pronounce that?) girlie friend is making out with some other Michael Douglas old-money-type in sync with the flashes of thunder. They don’t make them like they used to.

Further props go to the band for their cover, which depicts the Beatles in the familiar Abbey Road setting engulfed in flames and has caused a bit of a problem in its distribution in the shops. While I can’t tell if the band were going for a cheap shot at creating some hype or actually considering themselves as some sort of new milestone in how to write a pop song to the point of eclipsing the Beatles (everything is possible), their website’s humorous FAQ section and promo picture makes me consider the distinct possibility that this is a joke band and, as such, these bigheaded, or remarkably obvious, marketing ploys only add to its charm. I can live with that, for now.

For Fans Of: Refused, Thursday, Bleeding Through

Band Link:
United Nations

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